Mother-in-laws have been the butt of jokes down through the ages. Let’s face it, though, sometimes a mother can be kind of touchy when she marries off her son. You know how it can go, she views her new daughter-in-law as a rival for her son’s affections. It doesn’t have to be that way. Here is some simple mother-in-law advice for engaged women.
Jealousy can be the problem
In other other words, the root cause of friction is often jealousy. Mom thinks her son still belongs to her. Wifey think he belongs to her. Wifey is right that marriage becomes a man’s primary relationship.
Great future mother-in-law advice
The key to a sound relationship is to make your mother-in-law your friend. Here are some ideas how:
- Communicate. Involve her in your wedding planning where appropriate. Don’t shut her out. Don’t treat her as an interloper. Let her know you value her role in her son’s life and in your marriage.
- Ask for her advice. This lets her know you value her and helps to reduce and eliminate potential jealousy issues.
- Keep a sense of humor. For example, if she criticizes your cooking, you might simply deflect it with a little levity, “You know, though, I’m getting better. Now the dog will even eat it.”
- Embrace her good points. She has them. Don’t dwell on the negative, because that’s a loser for everyone.
- Thank her at the wedding. You can do it privately, of course, but for maximum impact, make a toast where you can publicly thank her. Some readers may retort that the bride doesn’t make a toast at the wedding. Why not? It’s your wedding! Here’s what you might say:
“David and I have so many people to thank. And over the weeks to come, we’ll do that in a more personal way than I’m able to tonight. For now, I can only say that people are built for joy, to experience profound happiness in their life. That’s why we come together at an event like our wedding: to celebrate. We’re celebrating the best life has to offer: love. I am so grateful to my parents for all they’ve given me which has led me to this turning point in my life. And I am especially grateful to my new in-laws, Linda and Fred, for giving me the greatest gift of my life: David. I will be eternally grateful for the two of you for the rest of my life. I love you both. Thank-you.”
Mother-in-law jokes like the one Jeff Foxworthy tells in the video above will never go away. But if you cultivate a good relationship with your future mother-in-law, you can both laugh at his joke together.
Have fun together!
Here’s some final mother-in-law advice: Another way to forge a good relationship is to have fun together, starting at your wedding! DJ Brian Anderson is a wedding reception specialist who will pack your dance floor and unite your party in a spirit of fun. Learn more today without obligation.